Friday 6 July 2012

The Session 65: So Lonely...

I have never been to the pub by myself. Not once. Ever. When I read about this months session from Nate at Booze Beats and Bites, I decided it was time to take the plunge.
I set a plan. Drive home from work, go to the local newsagents, buy a paper, and then go and park up in the pub round the corner from home

The thought of a solo pub visit terrified me.

What if there wasn't a seat free? This would wreck the plan of reading the paper: holding a pint and a paper whilst standing it logistically complicated. Then, this would lead to standing in a busy pub with nothing there to make me look "busy". This would invite conversation.

Conversation. That's not so bad is it? Of course not. But I'm ridiculously shy with people I don't know. Lacking in self confidence, is somewhat of an understatement. Get to know me and you can't shut me up. But tackling a conversation with a stranger without back-up... grim. I'm notoriously literal, and can't always tell if someone is joking or not. Invariably this leads to me feeling a bit dense

Then there is the fear of the slightly lecherous inebriated bloke, making lewd remarks. Never happens when you have a 6'2 bloke in tow. Not that there is an expectation for blokes to be lecherous over me of course... it has been a rare occurrence, but still one that fills me with a sense of impending doom.

After deciding the plan, I realised I was talking myself out of it. The excuses were abundant. Housework in urgent need of completion. Tea that needed cooking. Put it off until tomorrow. Or next week. Or don't bother, write a post about drinking beer along at home. At one point I'd decided I was going to Costa Coffee and could just pretend that I'd been to a pub.

I didn't, I sucked it up and went.

So, there I was, paper in hand, approaching the door. No sweaty palms, just a quiet resolve to get it over and done with. Entered the pub, and relief! It was practically empty. There were seats! In fact, it was so empty that on my arrival, the one person at the bar joked that he was leaving now the crowds were rushing in. I bought a pint, and searched for the darkest deepest corner to sit in. Nobody spoke to me, and there were no lewd remarks from inebriated blokes. There were definitely eyes on me, questioning why a young female, who is a very rare customer in this particular pub, was there by herself, and having a whole pint, no less, of beer. Made me feel self conscious a bit.




The outcome, was a partly enjoyed experience. I got to read the paper, a rare treat. However, I'd have preferred to do this at home, where social convention of feet on chairs and pyjama wearing, are all entirely acceptable. Where music being played is my own choice. Where there is a zero chance of the atmosphere changing and paper-reading becoming impossible. Would I do it again? Maybe. If I had an hour to kill somewhere before meeting someone/catching a train, then yes. But I wouldn't go out of my way.

For me, a trip down the pub is all about being with friends. I might have the odd beer at home on my tod, in my PJs watching reruns of CSI. But it is the odd beer, and I'd prefer to do it entirely alone than in the company of total strangers.

11 comments:

  1. It depends a little on the pub and the atmosphere. I'd recommend North Bar for a relaxed bit of reading and drinking in the afternoon. Friendly staff too. The Sparrow would be similar in Bradford, I reckon.

    Nick

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    1. Thanks Nick. I would totally agree, I'm far more familiar with North and The Sparrow than my local, and that would have helped! Also, awesome bars!

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  2. Totally agree with Nick's suggestions. being familiar with my local pubs I know what to expect before I walk in, something that I guess I now take for granted. You did it though! and I think your decision not to wear PJs to the pub really paid off :)

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    1. Thanks, I think somewhere more familiar would have helped. All the pubs round the corner from us are a bit pants though, so we don't often go. I might have to rechallenge myself in a few weeks and go to The Sparrow on my lonesome, see if it makes a difference! (always after an excuse!)

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  3. An interesting angle, I'd not thought of being almost afraid to drink alone in a pub, although my Mrs has often questioned the sensibility of wandering around strange cities in search of a decent pint if I'm away with work etc.

    It should never happen that a person should feel uneasy young female or not but sadly it does and there are places where even I don't like going to alone, choose wisely though and don't wear PGJ's as Dave's mentioned ;)

    I'm with you though, I'd much prefer to do my alone drinking completely alone, at home. Cheers Phil

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    1. Thanks Phil, I think it is more about me being shy than young/female. I love going to the pub, and I love meeting new people. But I like a backup person to help me out. Going to the pub alone just seems like I'm purposefully putting myself in an uncomfortable position, when I could be sat at home enjoying myself without wondering what other people are thinking or going to do or say. I never have a problem dragging someone to a new pub, so that isn't a factor for me either, interesting experiment though, glad I took part!
      PS my PJs are not as supercool as yours by the sounds of it, although I did have some boyzone

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    2. ones back in the early 90s! They were something special!

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  4. PGJ's of course, being pyjamas covered in monkeys and sponsored by the famous tea bag manufacturer....

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  5. Good to have a perspective from a woman (and to have more women beer blogging). Maybe one day my sexist a$$ won't be reading along and thinking, "I wonder why this guy is afraid of lecherous blokes. What kind of pubs is he going to?! Ohhhhhhhhh."

    I am with you on awkwardness with strangers, though. And I like to sit at the bar, but if you do, you are essentially consenting to conversation. I am going to have to disagree with Dave and Phil on the PJs, though. That might make you look just crazy enough to guarantee being left alone.

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    1. Haha, will have to try that one! Thanks for the comment!

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  6. That's the one thing I've observed while going to the pub alone - females generally don't seem to do it neither old or young.

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